You’re Not Half a Person Just Because You’re in Love

The fastest way to lose yourself? Get into a relationship and stop doing anything without them.

Suddenly, your likes, dislikes, and hobbies are just… whatever they like.

Your personality? A tragic collage of “shared interests” and joint Spotify playlists.

Cute. Until you wake up one day and realise you’ve become the human equivalent of a “Live, Laugh, Love” wall decal.

It’s Not Selfish to Have a Life

There’s a fine line between being selfish and just having the audacity to exist as a whole human.

Selfish is eating the last slice of pizza and telling them it “must have gone off in the fridge.”

Having a life is booking the trip, trying the hobby, or going out without needing their participation, or worse, permission.

Anne Hathaway said it best: “Apart you are whole. Together you are more.”

Which is poetic for: stop acting like you’re only 50% of a person until your partner completes you. You’re not a BOGOF offer.

The Guilt Though

The second you do something alone, you’ll get the look. Or worse, the label.

Dinner by yourself? “Are you two okay?”

Weekend trip without them? “Wow, bold.”

Pursue a hobby they don’t like? “That’s… interesting.”

We’ve been conditioned to think your free time should automatically become shared time because apparently, once you’re in love, personal space is cancelled.

Newsflash: doing things for yourself doesn’t mean you love them less. It means you’re not willing to dissolve your entire identity for the sake of synchronised hobbies.

Why You Shouldn’t Melt Into One Person

Lose yourself completely, and you’re left with one personality between two people, which is cute for matching pyjamas but terrible for long-term survival.

And if the relationship changes (which they all do, or end), you’re left wondering if you were ever a person at all… or just their plus one.

Trust me, I've been there. Fifteen years in a relationship, and at 33, I now realise I don't know who I am or what I like without that man by my side. It’s a bloody hard blow when they’re doing their thing, and you sit at home waiting for them like a lost puppy, realising you have no sense of self because you poured it all into them years ago.

Keep Your “You” Intact

• Solo hobbies: No, not just the ones you can make cute couple reels about.

• Date yourself: Book the table. Order the wine. Flirt with the waiter if you feel like it.

• Travel without them: You are not a package holiday deal.

• Have your own opinions: Especially on the important stuff, like TV shows and pizza toppings.

• Protect your time: Silence is not a crime. Neither is locking the bathroom door.

  
  

The Importance of Independence

Loving someone doesn’t mean becoming their emotional support accessory. It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. In fact, it’s the least selfish thing you can do because it means you show up as a whole, interesting, fulfilled human… not a watered-down plus one.

So go. Book the flight. Take the class. Spend the weekend binge-watching whatever you want.

And if anyone calls you selfish?

Tell them: apart you are whole, together you are more.

Then book another trip alone to Japan just to watch their eye twitch.

Embrace Your Quirks

Let’s face it; we all have our quirks. Maybe you love collecting vintage teacups, or perhaps you have an obsession with obscure indie films. Whatever it is, embrace it! Your quirks are what make you, you.

Don’t hide them under the guise of “couple goals.” Instead, flaunt them like a badge of honour. You’re not just a half of a couple; you’re a full-fledged individual with your own passions and interests.

The Power of Friendship

While your partner is important, don’t forget about your friends. They are your lifeline, your support system, and the ones who remind you of who you are. Make time for them. Go out for brunch, have a girls’ night, or just chat over a cup of coffee.

Friendship is a vital part of your identity. It’s where you can be unapologetically yourself, without any filters or expectations.

Conclusion: Be Your Own Person

At the end of the day, being in a relationship should enhance your life, not define it. You are a complete person on your own, and it’s crucial to remember that.

So, step out of that shadow. Live your life. Pursue your passions. And if anyone tries to make you feel bad for it, just smile and remind them that apart you are whole, together you are more.

Now, go out there and be fabulous, just as you are!